Casino Birthday Jokes
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Nifty, shifty, thrifty..Fifty! Funny 50th birthday sayings, short clean jokes, and funny quotations that’ll help you slide into the fifties with a smile. Congrats!
Turning 50: Funny Sayings, Group 1
The best form of birth control for people over 50: nudity.
A collection of short, funny jokes related to Gambling and Casinos!” Quick, Funny Jokes! Gambling, Casino Jokes Jokes on our Main. A big list of bingo jokes! 67 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! The theme for his birthday party was a Casino Royale, and the red and gold decor kept the atmosphere stylish and sophisticated. Teigen delighted her fans with adorable photos of her son, explaining: ’Okay guys. Throwing john’s 40th birthday party tonight but need your help dressing mini-john.
Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.
By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.
At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.
50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that’s halfway up the stairway to heaven.
Turning 50? Laughter is the gift that keeps you in the present.Casino Birthday Jokes Funny
Funny 50th Birthday Sayings:
What You Can Expect at 50
You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.
You spend more time trimming your nose hair than head hair.
You realize with some irritation that your parents were right about nearly everything.
The street vendor says “Yes, Ma’am” instead of “Sure thing, Gorgeous.’”
You finally get your head together, and your body has other ideas.
Your high school yearbook is moldy enough to support a thriving colony of algae.
When you look in a full-length mirror, you can see your butt from the front.
You’re still hot, but only in flashes.
And those hot flashes? Don’t think of them as menopause. Think of them as regular short vacations in the tropics.
At 50 it’s more important than ever to eat fruits and vegetables. So:
- In the morning, add an extra stalk of celery to your Bloody Mary.
- At lunch, drop an extra olive in your martini.
- And at dinner, squeeze a little more lime into that Margarita.
Funny 50th Birthday
Sayings, Group 3
I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent.
- Wendy Cope
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
- Bob Hope
Sex is as good at 50 as it was at 20. The only difference is I’m not into all that freakin’ Cirque de Soleil stuff because I’m as flexible as a two-by-four with as much stamina as an emphysema patient on oxygen.
- Janet Periat
Crown casino perth room service menu. After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now.”
- Henry Green
When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you’re fifty, you’ll see. Well, I’m fifty. I haven’t seen anything.
- Eric Satie
Funny 50th Birthday
Sayings, Group 4
Double deck blackjack rules. For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was 1978, but the time machine was booked.
- Jean Sorensen
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller
Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles.
- Melanie White
50 is a nice, round number – it pretty much matches my body.
- Melanie White
50 isn’t old – just ask anybody who’s 90.
- Melanie White
50th Birthday Sayings
Group 5
At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.
- Anonymous
50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments.
-Melanie White
50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule.
- Greg Tamblyn
Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
- Charles M. Schulz
I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me.
- Janet Periat
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
- Lucille Ball
50th Birthday Sayings: Group 6
Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush the net.
- Franklin P. Jones
Who said there were no such things as miracles? You made it to 50, didn’t you?
- Melanie White
You know you’re 50 when the only silver lining you can see is on your head.
- Melanie White
When you’re 50, don’t worry about turning gray. Just be glad you have hair.
- Melanie White
At 50, when you sneeze, “water under the bridge” has a completely different meaning.
- Melanie White
50th Birthday Party
A 50 year old woman’s birthday wish was to lose all her excess weight.
In one huge breath, she blew out the all candles on her cake.
Suddenly - POOF - her husband vanished.
New! CommentsLeave A Note or Share A Joke! All comments are moderated by the Head Lafologist.
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*Casino Birthday Jokes Funny
*Casino Birthday Jokes One-liners
*Casino Birthday Jokes Images
Nifty, shifty, thrifty..Fifty! Funny 50th birthday sayings, short clean jokes, and funny quotations that’ll help you slide into the fifties with a smile. Congrats!
Turning 50: Funny Sayings, Group 1
The best form of birth control for people over 50: nudity.
A collection of short, funny jokes related to Gambling and Casinos!” Quick, Funny Jokes! Gambling, Casino Jokes Jokes on our Main. A big list of bingo jokes! 67 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! The theme for his birthday party was a Casino Royale, and the red and gold decor kept the atmosphere stylish and sophisticated. Teigen delighted her fans with adorable photos of her son, explaining: ’Okay guys. Throwing john’s 40th birthday party tonight but need your help dressing mini-john.
Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.
By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.
At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.
50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that’s halfway up the stairway to heaven.
Turning 50? Laughter is the gift that keeps you in the present.Casino Birthday Jokes Funny
Funny 50th Birthday Sayings:
What You Can Expect at 50
You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.
You spend more time trimming your nose hair than head hair.
You realize with some irritation that your parents were right about nearly everything.
The street vendor says “Yes, Ma’am” instead of “Sure thing, Gorgeous.’”
You finally get your head together, and your body has other ideas.
Your high school yearbook is moldy enough to support a thriving colony of algae.
When you look in a full-length mirror, you can see your butt from the front.
You’re still hot, but only in flashes.
And those hot flashes? Don’t think of them as menopause. Think of them as regular short vacations in the tropics.
At 50 it’s more important than ever to eat fruits and vegetables. So:
- In the morning, add an extra stalk of celery to your Bloody Mary.
- At lunch, drop an extra olive in your martini.
- And at dinner, squeeze a little more lime into that Margarita.
Funny 50th Birthday
Sayings, Group 3
I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent.
- Wendy Cope
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
- Bob Hope
Sex is as good at 50 as it was at 20. The only difference is I’m not into all that freakin’ Cirque de Soleil stuff because I’m as flexible as a two-by-four with as much stamina as an emphysema patient on oxygen.
- Janet Periat
Crown casino perth room service menu. After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now.”
- Henry Green
When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you’re fifty, you’ll see. Well, I’m fifty. I haven’t seen anything.
- Eric Satie
Funny 50th Birthday
Sayings, Group 4
Double deck blackjack rules. For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was 1978, but the time machine was booked.
- Jean Sorensen
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller
Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles.
- Melanie White
50 is a nice, round number – it pretty much matches my body.
- Melanie White
50 isn’t old – just ask anybody who’s 90.
- Melanie White
50th Birthday Sayings
Group 5
At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.
- Anonymous
50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments.
-Melanie White
50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule.
- Greg Tamblyn
Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
- Charles M. Schulz
I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me.
- Janet Periat
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
- Lucille Ball
50th Birthday Sayings: Group 6
Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush the net.
- Franklin P. Jones
Who said there were no such things as miracles? You made it to 50, didn’t you?
- Melanie White
You know you’re 50 when the only silver lining you can see is on your head.
- Melanie White
When you’re 50, don’t worry about turning gray. Just be glad you have hair.
- Melanie White
At 50, when you sneeze, “water under the bridge” has a completely different meaning.
- Melanie White
50th Birthday Party
A 50 year old woman’s birthday wish was to lose all her excess weight.
In one huge breath, she blew out the all candles on her cake.
Suddenly - POOF - her husband vanished.
New! CommentsLeave A Note or Share A Joke! All comments are moderated by the Head Lafologist.
More like this? Go here:
Or go back from ’Funny 50th Birthday Sayings’ to ’Birthday Quotes and Jokes’Casino Birthday Jokes One-liners
Or back to the Home Page: ’Funny Jokes, Funny Quotes, Funny Sayings’Casino Birthday Jokes Images
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